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H:LOTS – S06E05 – “Baby, It’s You”

March 23, 2012

Written by: Jorge Zamacona
Directed by: Ed Sherin

I have a terrible confession, y’all. I have such a love/hate relationship with these damn Law & Order/H:LOTS crossover episodes. Theoretically, I should love them; they bring together two sets of characters I like, further supports the theory we’re all living in Tommy Westphall’s mind and provides an opportunity to serve up a double fisted whodunit. However, as I’ve mentioned before, these crossover eps tend to yield watered down versions of both shows. The novelty of Van Buren or Schiff mentioning Danvers or Gee is exciting at first, but quickly wears off right around the time the episodes settle into procedural mode.

Nothing makes you appreciate Det. Curtis like Det. Falsone. Oh man, their scenes together gave me a new appreciation for Curtis, who initially I took a looooong time to cozy up to. We’re talking Jesse L Martin had already been on the show for years before I went back reviewed the Bratt years and decided he was a pretty decent character. Oh yeah, I totally cried when Bratt made a guest appearance on a season 20 ep of Law & Order! Nevertheless, I’m not sure what was the point of pairing Falsone and Curtis. Unless the writer was trying to engage in a little “old and busted new hotness” analysis, by contrasting the pairing with that of Munch and Briscoe. Don’t misunderstand me (I feel like I’ll be repeating this point until I finish these recaps) I like Jon Seda. I just don’t like the Falsone character.

The pair of episodes center around the case of murdered 14 year old model, whose death by toxic shock syndrome sparks a chain of horrific events. The least of which being having to hear Sam Waterston rattle off the symptoms of toxic shock syndrome like he was reading the back of a box of tampons. If that isn’t enough to make you take a hot bag of, “no thanks”, the transphobic exchange between Munch and Falzone, served up as “comic relief” just might. I find these pair of episodes misogynistic in a manner I don’t normally associate with either show. I ain’t saying either show is a bastion of female empowerment, but this kind of tacky, scrapping the bottom of the barrel for rating storytelling is something I’d expect from Law & Order: SVU. Did I just say that out loud? it isn’t so much the subject manner; it’s the way in which the story is framed and told. Very little nuance and a whole lot of salacious, grotesque detailing of violence that attempts to pass itself off as thoughtful examination.

As an amusing aside, I couldn’t help but lulz at J.K. Simmons playing the awesome Skoda because the last time there was a crossover with Law & Order he was not yet a recurring member of the cast. And well, let’s put it this way: he was playing a character so unlike Skoda it’s pretty hilarious.

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