Cinemalphabet: N is for Never Scared
Instead of the usual trailer, I thought I’d post this. It’s helpful to have at least heard Chris Rock talk before in order to get the cadence, which is part store front church preacher and part dude who stands in front of liquor stores all day ranting about the government:
Separate God from school, separate God from work, separate God from government but on your money it says in God we trust. All my life I’ve been looking for God and He’s right in my pocket. Americans worship money, and we all go to the same church, the church of ATM, everywhere you look there’s a new branch popping up… remind you about how much money you got and how much money you don’t got. And if you got less than twenty dollars the machine won’t even talk to you. The machine is like you better go see a teller. You ever go to a teller and try to take out eight dollars and fifty cents? Oh it’s disgusting… oh man you gotta wait on that long ass line, people doing real transactions in front of you, you get on to the fucking front you fill out your form eight fifty. The fucking teller looks at it she look at you she looks at the check she don’t even take the money out of the drawer she take it out of her pocket, “here you go get out of here.” And here’s something man drugs are illegal but ATM machines are open twenty four hours a day. Twenty four hours a day. For who? Who the fuck is it open for? Have you ever taken out three hundred dollars at four o’clock in the morning for something positive. Shit when you press that machine at four o’clock in the morning I think a psychiatrist should pop up on the screen an go “c’mon man, save your money man. Don’t buy drugs buy some rims. They spinning nigger they spinning they spinning nigger they spinning.” Americans worship money. Shit you know why banks are closed on Sunday? Cos if they wasn’t church would be empty.
Never Scared had me at, “A brotha would put rims on a toaster if you’d let him. ‘Check it out, I got some raisin toast sitting on 22″ and they spinnin’, nigga, they spinnin’…” I’ll be honest, I prefer my -ism analysis with a healthy dose of humor. I love how feminists and ladybloggers get all sixes and sevens when people point out the OBVIOUS, which is they are dour and humorless. I’m sorry, did you actually think you were funny? You better go ask somebody, you unfunny and unrelentingly dour crybabies. I’m funny; you’re dour and resort to LOLcats and other unfunny awkward shit in order to disarm folks who might question your right to be angry about whatever’s happening in the world of the lightly oppressed. This just in: if you’ve ever uttered, “______ is the last acceptable oppression/prejudice,” with a straight face and it’s an ism you experience, congrats! You’re lightly oppressed. Don’t be looking around. I’m talking to your punk ass.
In addition having a hilarious, but uncomfortable chat with Black America, Never Scared takes aim at the institution of marriage:
People always say that we can’t have gay marriage because marriage is a sacred institution, that happens in the church. It’s sacred… no it’s not! Marriage ain’t sacred! Not in America! Not in the country that watches “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?” or “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette”. Get the fuck outta here! Gay people have a right to be miserable as everybody else! Michael Jackson got married, how fuckin’ sacred is that shit?
and the unexamined bigotry and hatred directed towards Muslims in the wake of 9/11:
And their was a lot of accepted racism when the war started. It was accepted. “I’m American man, I’m American. Fuck all these foreigners!” And that was cool. “I’m American man, I’m American. Fuck the French!” That was cool. “I’m American man, I’m American. Fuck all these Arabs!” And that was cool. Then they went to “I’m American man, I’m American. Fuck all these illegal aliens!” Then I started listening. Cause I know niggas and Jews is next. It’s like any day now. That train’s never late.
Chris Rock and I don’t agree on anything. For example, despite finding his rant about rap music amusing, I don’t have the privilege of being, “tired of defending it”. But at least he made me laugh. And he did present a fairly provocative argument as it relates to his own confusion at seeing a club well stocked with ladies dancing to the shagnastiest, misogynistic lyrics. I too have gotten, “He ain’t talking about me!” from female friends when I ask, “Hey, isn’t that song kind of fucked up towards the ladies?”
And then there’s pant pissing rant about wealth and class:
Perhaps my favorite moment of the show was the line about how great fortunes are created: “They called it bootlegging, but that’s just a white word for drug dealing. They didn’t sell boots! They sold the crack of their day. They killed cops and kids and that’s cool. Good for them.” The bit then goes on (a little too long, I’m afraid) to discuss the burdens imposed on POC/Non White wealth building. But I’ll let you catch that part yourself.