Nice White Lady of the Week™
Adrian, a reader of my office supply blog Does This Pen Write?, and I have been trading emails enclosed with links of egregious acts of Nice White Lady™ fuckery. Many are hilarious and naturally, I decided to start a weekly series highlighting these warriors of niceness, whiteness and ladyness. Most will not be famous or even infamous – but everyday folks who have the misfortune of sharing their random acts of NWLism with the interwebz.
A great friend of mine once said, “You are transphobic like a motherfuck until I say otherwise. You’re not the boss of my -ism.” And so it is with NWL™, which when used by me is most certainly a pejorative. If you feel upset and hurt having it hurled at you, then my mission was a success. Go write a pained, chow chow laden crybaby blog entry about it.
- tokenize the marginalized folks in their world, using human shields whenever they are called out for acts of -ism fuckery.
- believe they deserve the benefit of the doubt because they are thoughtful, compassionate human beings.
- believe commitment to dismantling kyriarchy is on a case by case basis. If they don’t happen to like a specific marginalized person, somehow it’s acceptable to engage in privileged behavior because that person is “mean” or says things the NWL™ doesn’t want to hear from someone she believes should be grateful for her support.
- collude with other NWLs™ – when called out by marginalized folks – in an attempt to bully. derail or silence. But often are silent when marginalized people are being treated poorly, either by believing the marginalized person is “strong” enough to handle the fuckery themselves or they probably are overacting to the situation.
- think it’s okay to engage in emotional manipulation – white woman’s tears – when confronted in regards to problematic behavior.
- believe they know as much about -ism they don’t have as the people who have them. They also believe they are in a better position to articulate the concerns of these groups.
- appropriate a marginalized identity for themselves via their overuse of the term “ally”. As “allies” NWLs™ tend to frame being an ally to a community as an identity worthy of inclusion in all aspects of social justice work, particularly if they get to run things.
- will be the first to chime in here and talk about the other NWLs™ they know and how they aren’t like that themselves. As though they get to dictate the terms.
- aren’t in fact, nice at all. Merely privileged white women, sometimes with single serving oppressions who believe their status as cisgendered women or fat white women or working class white women negates the privileges afforded due to race.
This series is not an educational opportunity. I’m not holding anyone’s fucking hand or explaining anything other than, “Check out this fucking Nice White Lady™!” If this is too much for you, then go read something else. If you email me, I can suggest tons of Nice White Lady™ bloggers who will be more appropriate for your sometimey social justice warrior needs.