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I Have Come Here to Chew Bubblegum and Kick Ass and I Am All Out of Bubblegum

June 8, 2010

They Live!

Ever since I wrote this post I have received a bumpercrop of email requests to give other shows similar treatment. For the most part the requests have been for shows I don’t watch and wouldn’t be interested in watching. Sorry Buffy and Angel fans. I’m not interested. Or they are shows, which haven’t concluded their broadcast runs so it would be a bit presumptive to attempt to place them in their proper cultural context (if they actually have one). So using my rules – Has to have been off the air at least a month or so or concluded its broadcast run and be something I’d consider spending time revisiting – I have tallied the votes and now we’re in the semifinals. I have to give a shout out to reader J who wrote a pretty compelling argument for Deadwood. Alas, I like the show and, this’ll probably make me a terrible person but, I’m just not bothered by that janky ass cowboy talk – some of which is directed at folks who look like me. I should also point out, my purpose for analyzing shows in this manner is not to whine, complain and beat the thing into the ground. I love my pop culture and I tend to be rather jolly about it. I also DO NOT HAVE A PERSONAL interest in critiquing pop culture I don’t actively consume or even like. I’ve written why, and trust me, I know what I’m doing. My goal is to be witty, cheeky and funny, and unless you’re Anthony Lane – trust me, I’ve read your blogs and you’re not – you can’t do that if you’re constantly whining about stuff you hate. It’s boring. I am not boring and I prefer a challenge. Picking apart stuff you don’t even like is not a challenge. It’s well, kind of sad, actually. It’s how we get eleventy billion critiques of Sex and the City and feminists sitting on their hands as it relates to the racism/ableism/classism/transphobia displayed by Tina Fey and shows like Glee. Don’t be looking around, I’m talking to your punk ass.

Thank Xena (that nearly made the semifinals) for FWD, This Ain’t Livin’, Everett and Tasha or I would probably have gone back to being one of those snarky people who corrects people when they attempt to label her a feminist. Cause, seriously I don’t know sometimes. I just don’t know what is going on with these people.

Also, tiny favor. Hi, please stop calling yourselves “allies” to communities I identify with. Now I’ve gotten all the newsletters and haven’t seen any of y’all ally self applying mutherfuckers mentioned anywhere. If we don’t think you suck, we’ll let you know. In the meantime trot along so you can suck someplace else. But take this here poll first.

20 Comments leave one →
  1. June 8, 2010 2:56 am

    I really just want to write about the John Carpenter masterpiece They Live.

  2. June 8, 2010 7:54 am

    I’m very interested in what you have to say about Monk.

  3. June 8, 2010 8:36 am

    Tell more people to vote. It appears X-Files is currently in the lead!

  4. June 8, 2010 9:36 am

    I had heard of your no-love for Whedon. It’s been a long time since I watched anything of his, but I remember really liking Firefly and loving Buffy back when it came out (and I was its target age group). Buffy just started streaming on Roku, and out of curiosity for how bad it might have gotten in the intervening years, and what made somebody like Snarky go all yech, I thought I’d watch just one season. You know. The way I always manage to watch just one season.

    It’s been a long month and I have been to the abyss and back and rewatched the entire fucknut thing. I will cover this review for you:

    Seasons 1-2: Show promises wacky white girl hijinks involving stakes, kissing, and confusing degrees of slang. Show delivers. If that is your bag, you are now holding it. I admit: it was my bag.

    Season 3: THERE IS A BLACK GUY IN SUNNYDALE. We have now doubled our white girl hijinks quotient to compensate.

    Season 4: Let’s start making everything creepily sexual. Also, let’s introduce the first female character that isn’t all bony. Do not read the Wiki if you do not want to know that Joss Whedon was opposed to this. Did you know Joss Whedon is a feminist?

    Season 5-6: We have made a few changes to our regularly scheduled programming! Our characters are adult enough for rape to exist in reality instead of vampiric metaphor; we will lull you in with our surprisingly decent treatment of rape (as relative to other popular media) and then confuse and entice you by replacing every third word of the script with “bitch.”

    Season 7: Buffy is now SO powerful she can rip off the Matrix. This is the season where everybody must pull together. It is also the season where nobody likes each other anymore and fights about who gets to fuck whom, because everything is still creepily sexual. Oh, hey, it’s the first fat AND ugly character on Buffy: she gets a second of screen time and is in the middle of being beaten, possibly raped. Did you know Joss Whedon is a feminist? Filming sexism now qualifies as social commentary on sexism. Calling women bitches is a coy commentary on how women get called bitches a lot (by OTHER PEOPLE, duh, not Joss Whedon, who is only making commentary). Women with super-powers PUNCH through evil and CASTRATE dudes who call them bitches. THIS IS SERIOUS COMMENTARY, NUANCED AND ALERT. Did you know Joss Whedon is a feminist?

    The bear and I made a drinking game out of this. Everytime it was appropriate to ironically inject, “Did you know Joss Whedon is a feminist?” as a coy commentary on Joss Whedon being a feminist, we had a drink. It was a quiet and depressing game of scotch and what am I doing with my life.

    Anybody who asks you for a Buffy review, now you can just send them this way. You’re on your own for Angel — I can’t even begin to do that to my liver.

  5. June 8, 2010 9:49 am

    @HarrietJ, I’m afraid that if I did the same thing to Firefly I’d get similar results. Like, “Did you know that Joss Whedon was antiracist?” See, there are two nonwhite cliches characters. See, they’re swearing in Chinese.

    Yeah, I think I’ll leave that one alone.

  6. June 8, 2010 9:51 am

    The original Willow was played by Riff Reagan, who I went to HS with. True Story.

  7. June 8, 2010 10:00 am

    Thanks for finally calling out Tina Fey, by the way.

  8. June 8, 2010 10:02 am

    PS, I just found a pretty decent critique of Whedon on race from a professed Whedon fan. His two black Firefly characters are the Black Warrior Woman and the Magical Negro, so yeah.

    And where are the Asian people? Nowhere.

  9. Teaspoon permalink
    June 8, 2010 10:17 am

    I’d have voted for Xena. Went with X-Files, but would be interested no matter which of your short list you went with.

  10. June 8, 2010 10:42 am

    Xena is getting some serious email traction. It might be one of those things where I end up doing whatever wins here and Xena. I am enjoying my afternoon Xena time muchly.

  11. June 8, 2010 11:00 am

    When Xena got streamable, I might as well have hooked that shit up to my veins.

  12. June 8, 2010 11:19 am

    Harriet J – omg, it’s such a great show. I always worked jobs that conflicted with Xena broadcast schedules so I missed this thing the first time around. It’s so wonderful. Lucy Lawless does such an awesome accent. I just love everything about this damn show!

  13. IrishUp permalink
    June 8, 2010 3:26 pm

    @redlami – I voted Monk before I saw your comment. In the category of “lets make more work for Snarky’s” I vote Xena and whatever wins. Raised in a household where Wonder Woman and Linda Cater are part of the Pantheon, Xena was an instant hit, and Lucy Lawless added to the Pantheon in record time.

    Thanks, Harriet J, for illuminating the reasons I could never get into BtVS the series. I had always found it puzzling, given my love for the movie. I thought it was me, but no, it’s Joss. Who I hear is a anti-racist feminist, and is therefore being hipster-ironical in his tokenist misogyny.

  14. June 8, 2010 4:30 pm

    Xena looks to be a done deal! I am scheduling my time, ensuring I finish up H:LOTS and probably going to do something a tad different. A hybrid of the H:LOTS and ST E treatment. Seasonal recaps with a big deconstruction post at the end. I am very excited about the Xena project. I have so many things I want to say, but I will save them for the project.

    Thanks to all of you for helping me clarify my mission!

  15. June 9, 2010 12:03 am

    Oh, Harriet, that was a perfect summary of Buffy.

    I want Treme to a) be over, b) off the air for a month c) be something you like enough to write about it. Because I am enjoying playing Spot the Famous Actor, Musician, Writer, or Wire Actor. And also I am just enjoying it and want other people to enjoy it too so I can talk about it with them. Khandi Alexander= ❤ ❤ Also, Wendell Pierce. And also, the music is fun.

    But in the meatime (or, should that day never come), I will look forward to a Xena deconstruct because I haven't watched it all the way through. I really feel, given Lucy Lawless's badassery, I ought to, and what better motivastion than a play by play?

  16. June 9, 2010 12:39 am

    I adore Treme. I might be inclined to write up a review once the season ends. I am savoring each episode like fine wine.

  17. June 9, 2010 3:48 pm

    *confetti and applause*

    Oh yay! It’s great. I watched episodes 1-7 in a very short amount of time (a keg stand of Treme if you like) and so need to let the first shock of awesomeness leave my system before I can articulate how much I love the show.

    But I am loving it. Oh yes.

  18. June 9, 2010 4:01 pm

    I voted for Sex and the City just because I know it better and think it’s got buttloads of areas that need the bright light of Snarky shown upon them, but now that I think about it, a dissection (no pun intended, HAR!) of the X-Files would probably be equally interesting.

  19. lemonadeandlemoncake permalink
    June 9, 2010 6:41 pm

    i know i’m too late, but series 1 and 2 of skins could use some deconstructing.

  20. lemonadeandlemoncake permalink
    June 10, 2010 2:46 pm

    anthrok8 you can talk to me about treme i LOVE IT!

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