Skip to content

Five Movie Roles I Wished I’d Played

May 3, 2010

Let there be Light

While I don’t really have a strong desire to act or appear in movies as a lead, I’d love to play those tiny “I’ll have what she’s having” memorable roles, which tend to be the moments I enjoy most in film.

Here are five of my favorites:

1. Aziz from The Fifth Element

    While I have limited experience dealing with the complexities of archological studies in Egypt, I have worked or assisted many an academic type depicted in the opening scene of the film. I was the Aziz to their frothing, pompous chow chowery.

2. The Fax Machine Lady in Air Force One

    That’s my kind of ROLE. Helpful, cute and far more instrumental to the film’s favorable outcome than folks might imagine. And yes, I would very much like to be Postmaster General. Also, I think I have that same outfit she wore, though mine’s probably a bit more sexy. Magical Negro trope aside, we’ll have more than enough time to sort out the problematic nature of its application once we get Pres Marshall off the freaking plane and away from Gary Oldman.

3. The Oh God, I hope they bring back Elvis! woman from Independence Day

    I’m not really even a fan of Elvis, but that’s one of the best lines uttered by a bit player.

4. Mr. He Pulls the Wagon; I Make the Deals from Ghostbusters

    What can I say? That dude’s my kind of saint.

5. “GET OUT OF MY FUCKING CAB!!” guy from The Big Lebowski

    I like the Eagles, so I was happy to see the Dude called out on his assclownage.
Advertisements
11 Comments leave one →
  1. May 3, 2010 12:12 pm

    I’d like to be the guy in Casablanca who says “your winnings, sir” just after Capt. Renault expresses his shock that “gambling is going on in here! “

  2. May 3, 2010 12:18 pm

    Haha. That’s a great one too! Now they’re getting it!

  3. May 3, 2010 1:59 pm

    MAGICAL NEGRO! I am falling down laughing

  4. May 3, 2010 2:00 pm

    I always wanted to do the thing in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the guy comes at Harrison Ford with all the swords and then he just shoots him.

  5. May 3, 2010 2:44 pm

    Brilliant. Let’s see. I think maybe the little kid in Raising Arizona who writes FART on the wall. “This one’s gettin’ too big to cuddle.’

  6. May 3, 2010 3:57 pm

    @Ozma – That kid nearly made my list. There are so many great little roles. I would love to make a career out of doing those role.

    Thanks for stopping by. Love YOUR site. Long time fan. 🙂

  7. Andrea Mildred permalink
    May 3, 2010 9:25 pm

    I’ve always wanted to be the singing telegram woman in Clue.
    And – although this character has no lines or relevance to the plot – the chick in Roller Boogie who just happens to be dressed as a carhop and is holding a tray of food while busting moves on the rink floor, expertly not dropping any fries.

    (If you haven’t seen Roller Boogie, i highly recommend it. There’s some classic themes like the rich girl/poor boy love story, a dance competition, and the community kids have to save their rink from getting bought out by some rich guys in suits! Also, french cut leotards.)

  8. May 3, 2010 9:44 pm

    (If you haven’t seen Roller Boogie, i highly recommend it. There’s some classic themes like the rich girl/poor boy love story, a dance competition, and the community kids have to save their rink from getting bought out by some rich guys in suits! Also, french cut leotards.)

    Oh doll, you had me at, “Roller Boogie”. I’m on the hunt down for this title. This sound better than Starlight Express.

    Also, I wholeheartedly agree about Clue! Though for me I’ve always wanted to be the cop Mrs. Peacock calls a “beatnik”. I just love his role.

    Thanks for stopping by!

  9. May 4, 2010 6:46 am

    Of Lebowski characters, this is the one I’d want to have been:

    Leads? Yeah, sure. I’ll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. They’ve got four more detectives working on the case. They got us working in shifts!

  10. hsofia permalink
    May 4, 2010 9:27 am

    This is silly, but I want to be the dad of the girl whose bedroom Marty McFly enters in Back to the Future II (he thinks it’s his room, but different people live in the house). I like how he just busts right in with a baseball bat and says, “Freeze, sucka!” LOL And he has the worst aim ever. I mean, MJF is not a big guy, but he’s still a pretty big target!

  11. May 4, 2010 11:30 am

    OMG, how could I forget:

    Black Mourner from Love at First Bite:

    Alvin – I told you to go find your roots, but who told you to drink the water?

    I love how she starts off all pissed, but then descends into wailing on the word, “water”.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: