S3x10: Every Mother’s Son
AIR DATE: 01/06/1995
TELEPLAY BY: Eugene Lee
STORY BY: Tom Fontana & James Yoshimura
DIRECTED BY: Ken Fink
GUEST STAR: Howie Mandel
Oh this one’s got it all. Strong story, deliciously fatuous cold open, goo gobs of Levinson regulars playing prospective waitresses and Howie Mandel in a brief, but marvelous appearance as interior decorator who finds Munch’s design aesthetic to be woefully outdated. The dialog is crisp and pitch perfect.
- Lewis: (to an interviewee who claims to be a playwright) You’re a writer and you had to ask me for a pen?
- Woman: My life is filled with irony…
- Munch: and all in one act.
And of course, Pembleton’s “Drag myself to the next cup of coffee” monologue, which is perhaps the finest monologue ever uttered by a TV cop in the history of TV cops.
- You know, every day I get out of bed and drag myself to the next cup of coffee. I take a sip and the caffeine kicks in. I can focus my eyes again. My brain starts to order the day. I’m up, I’m alive. I’m ready to rock. But the time is coming when I wake up and decide that I’m not getting out of bed. Not for coffee, or food or sex. If it comes to me, fine. If it won’t, fine. No more expectations. The longer I live, the less I know. I should know more. I should know the coffee’s killing me. You’re suspicious of your suspicions? I’m jealous, Kay; I’m so jealous. You still have the heart to have doubts. Me? I’m going to lock up a 14-year-old kid for what could be the rest of his natural life. I got to do this. This is my job. This is the deal. This is the law. This is my day. I have no doubts or suspicions about it. Heart has nothing to do with it any more. It’s all in the caffeine.
PEMBLETON, GEE and BAYLISS
- Frank and Tim catch the murder of a 14 year old boy at a bowling alley and it is another one of those painful, emmy baiting, type episodes where everyone is at the top of their acting, writing and directing game. There is not one false step in this entire episode. It is truly an unforgettable episode. Gee tries to keep it together in the wake of a teen shooting. The shocking details of the case unnerve both Gee and Bayliss, while Pembleton forges an uneasy relationship with the shooter. Can’t go another second without mention the fabulous use of Belly’s Empty Heart, Full Moon.
MUNCH and LEWIS
- Munch and Lewis finally have their bar and all they need to do is hire staff and figure out what to do now that it has been deemed a historical landmark. George Washington used the potty and they can’t even so much as change the toilet paper in the bathroom.
HOWARD and FELTON
- Howard and Felton’s partnership is strained under the weight of both their active case roster and Felton’s ongoing quest to see his kids, which he discovers are shacked up in a HoJo on the Eastern Shore. He jets out of the squad leaving Howard to juggle their cases and resent the shit out of him.