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Tiger’s Transformation

January 27, 2010

With a slip of the dick Tiger Woods has been transformed from house negro to jail rat. Who does this dude’s publicity? Here he is shirtless and looking positively criminalicious. I’m guessing, based on what I know about photoshop the jail house tats were powdered away. After all, they are trying to sell magazines. Though it doesn’t explain the reverse Beyonce. Well, he might not have been considered “black enough” before, but the media is certainly framing him as “black enough” now. He probably can give that Cablasian thing a rest. Because when the media gives you a Labron makeover all bets are off, my friend.

Next up for Tiger, hilarity in elevators as white women clutch their knock off purses and a white guy following him around saying, “What I think Tiger was trying to say…”

12 Comments leave one →
  1. evmaroon permalink
    January 27, 2010 5:31 pm

    Does the public need a mini-me or redux of OJ? Seems like it’s looking for one. Way to go, Vanity Fair, you’re making great progress in lowering the bar of quality that I thought was already squarely on the floor. I guess his press post-sex rehab won’t be the same as that for David Duchovny.

  2. January 27, 2010 5:39 pm

    Wait, what? Duchovny did go to sex ‘hab? Damn. Well played, media. Well played.

  3. January 27, 2010 5:41 pm

    I think they forgot a few adjectives:

    animalistic, menacing, insatiable

  4. January 27, 2010 8:08 pm

    Wow. That’s quite a contrast from this:

    and all the other “nice, safe negro” magazine covers we’ve seen in the past. It’s pretty sad that, like the mammy/jezebel/sapphire stereotypes for black women, the corporate white media only seems to have the hoodlum/safe negro stereotypes for black men.

  5. January 27, 2010 10:28 pm


  6. January 28, 2010 12:15 am

    There seems to be something about being a member of a marginalized group that really ensures that you never get portrayed with any nuance by society.

    Yeah, I can see your point.

  7. January 28, 2010 8:15 am

    Hey, Annie’s got bills to pay.

  8. badhedgehog permalink
    January 29, 2010 3:39 pm

    Woah. Two boxes.

  9. hsofia permalink
    January 31, 2010 3:11 am

    I’ve been seeing that magazine cover all over the supermarkets for over a month now. Either no one’s buying it or they just keep printing more copies.

  10. March 18, 2010 1:35 am

    It just seemed really tacky, especially for VF, which tends towards only being modestly tacky.

  11. hsofia permalink
    March 18, 2010 2:22 am

    Is there some way to see more than the last five recent comments? When you go on a roll like just now, I can’t be sure if I’ve missed something!

  12. March 18, 2010 2:28 am

    Ha. You flatter me, 🙂 Das ist alles!

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