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Ten Random Things About Snarky

December 23, 2009

Somewhere along the way this blog has started to get shit tons more readers. And not just Livejournal refugees, but honest-to-god random folks who are coming into the movie after the opening credits have rolled. Here are ten random things about me.

1. I have an intergalactic memory. Not just photographic, but the way my brain processes memories impresses friends and will probably one day help me avoid jail time if god forbid I’m wrongly accused of a crime. I can remember fantastic and even trivial details of events, conversations and outfits I’ve worn. I was chatting with a friend from the way back about some long forgotten misadventure and I kept mentioning the awful Blossom style hat she wore that night. I described it in detail and she kept saying, “I don’t remember that.” Maybe it was her memory being kind because it was quite the hell hat. Anyway, she drops me an email featuring a picture of her wearing that hat with a comment stating, “OMG your memory fucking scares me!” Since we’re talking about Blossom, you know she wasn’t rocking that motherfucker two week ago. At least I hope she wasn’t.

2. I do fantastic and uncanny impressions of people. My partner says it’s not that I’m a mimic, but rather I can capture the nuances of a person, usually by zeroing in on mannerism they don’t even realize they have. When I tell stories involving other people I always do them in character. My sister, however, can totally do their voices and does a side splitting impression of my mom, that even she enjoys.

3. I do not like Joss Whedon’s work at all. I suspect this has thwarted more friendships, relationships and job opportunities than I even realize. I have nothing against the man or his universe, but it’s one severely lacking brown people in a way I find useful and since I don’t like the subjects he explores anyway, I’m not inclined to be generous, the way I am with say the producers of Thirtysomething.

4. I do not like costume dramas or any kind of movie where fucking happens but sanitation/bathing is sketchy. This means that Out of Africa is the only Pollack film I will not watch. I’ll be strapped to a chair watching Random Hearts on loop before I’ll ever watch Out of Africa.

5. I do not like reading books written in third person. It’s almost a phobia. I attribute this disturbing quirk to feeling as though Charlton Heston was the unseen narrator of all books written from this perspective and not finding that prospect enjoyable. I also associate it with the terrible books I was assigned to read in high school. Obviously as a writer who loves literature this poses quite the conundrum. I get around it by listening to an awful lot of audio books.

6. I love cleaning and organizing. Some of my favorite evenings are spent rearranging furnishings, organizing closets, office supplies and beauty products. Sometimes I act like it’s a drag so people won’t bother me while I’m doing it. But in reality I often planned whole weekends around organizing my closets or reconfiguring my home office.

7. I am night owl and untreated insomniac. I attempted treatment once, but finally realized nothing I find useful happens before 10:30 at night or after 10am in the morning. So I have just rearranged my universe to suit my temperament instead of constantly trying to fight it.

8. I prefer to go to the movies alone. I have never figured out why movies are considered a “social” event (in theaters anyway). What’s social about sitting in the dark for two hours and not talking? Nothing. So I’m guessing it’s probably better to do it alone.

9. I make a spectacular martini, though I rarely drink.

10. About 60% of my short fiction have titles that start with the letter “S”. I have no idea what this mean. Titles include: “Squeeze” “Soma” “So Early 90s” “Show of Hands” “Still” “South of West Covina”… It’s weird, yo.

17 Comments leave one →
  1. TR Xands permalink
    December 23, 2009 1:19 am

    #s 1, 3, 7, and 8 – yes, yes thank you.

    Although I have more of a “domino” memory I think, I’m still occasionally used as a playback machine.

    Besides Angel which I watched pretty much from the 4th season on then backwards (I mean, I’m a Forever Knight fan), I don’t really care for Joss Whedon & don’t know/care what the big deal is. And I can sit down and watch some super ___normative shows and like them fine, but with Whedon…I don’t know, I feel like I SHOULD be behind him or something.

    I’ve recently discovered the only reason I went to movies with other people is because I needed a ride there (I don’t drive or like buses much) and I didn’t have my own money. Then boom I was suddenly ballin off govt “school” (fwaahahaha) funds and I just didn’t care anymore. I actually really hate it when people come to movies WITH me because they always leave talking about how inappropriate I was to those kids or something.


  2. redlami permalink*
    December 23, 2009 9:18 am

    So I guess you won’t be accompanying me to the Out of Africa / Dangerous Liaisons double feature, huh?

    I’m not a huge Joss Whedon fan either, but I did enjoy and think you might like Firefly. It’s a bit more multicultural than his other stuff. The leader’s a white dude of course, but very much a Kirk who often gets himself into trouble and needs the specialized skills and support of his friends to get him through. And it’s got Gina Torres. Rowr.

  3. December 23, 2009 12:03 pm

    I like Adam Baldwin a lot. He was so cute in Independence Day and to a lesser degree in Full Dinner Jacket.

  4. Arwen permalink
    December 25, 2009 2:24 am

    Oh, man, some of my favorite movies where when I was single, and I’d go watch a matinee alone. And dump M&Ms into my popcorn.
    Someday, I will have any money at all, and the kids will be bigger and I’ll have time, and this’ll be coming back as a monthly ritual.

  5. Arwen permalink
    December 25, 2009 2:24 am

    Nope. Some of my favorite movies WERE when I was single. Damn finger macros.

  6. Sniper permalink
    December 28, 2009 10:17 pm

    I love your use of The Stupendous Yappi to illustrate this post.

  7. January 24, 2010 2:55 am

    @sniper – as soon as I started writing about my memory powers I immediately thought of Yappi and hunted down the absolutely best picture of him.

  8. March 13, 2010 7:13 pm

    Oddly, I’m the opposite: I tend to dislike books written in the first person, unless there’s a clear in-universe explanation of why this person has decided to write his/her autobiography. But it’s a dislike I can live with. It doesn’t stop me reading the books.

    I rarely go to the cinema, and very rarely watch films at home, but I do think of them as a social event. You go to the film with friends so you can analyse it together when you leave. I remember going to a friend’s house with my family to watch A Streetcar Named Desire. As we left and walked down the lane back to our house, my mother said “Discuss”. It’s that sort of film. And theatre is definitely a social event.


  9. March 13, 2010 7:47 pm

    TRIG – yeah, I feel as though I do better without the distraction of reactions by other people I know. I am a HUGE film buff so I need my first experience with a movie to be emotionally clutter-free. Actually the only person I can see films with is my partner and my mom. They both share my perspective on this and are excellent seatmates. Other folks, not so much.

    Theater is a little different. Again, I don’t think it’s social. It’s not about you, it’s about what’s happening on the stage. Leaving aside interactive forms of theater where audience participation is actively encouraged, beyond clapping, crying, cheering, laughing or – god forbid, beefeater tossing – I’m not inclined to treat it as a social event

  10. March 13, 2010 9:07 pm


    My mother and I went to see Waiting for Godot once. The audience was perfectly silent, and participating. There’s no way that play, with it’s long pauses and staccato dialogue, could work as a film. Sometimes the two men on stage would stand without moving, without speaking, for almost a minute. On film, ridiculous. On stage, there was tension. There was definitely feedback from the audience to the stage. The performers were pushing us; stretching the tension as fine as they could make it.

    Theatre is a communal event, alright.

    Admittedly, Waiting for Godot is not a normal play.


  11. lemonadeandlemoncake permalink
    April 17, 2010 10:54 pm

    i love going to see movies alone as well.

  12. hsofia permalink
    April 17, 2010 11:02 pm

    One of the things I miss about being single and child-free is going to movies by myself. Even just watching movies at home by myself without being interrupted. ((sigh))

  13. lemonadeandlemoncake permalink
    April 18, 2010 5:34 pm

    leave them with your partner and sneak away for a quick flick?

  14. hsofia permalink
    April 18, 2010 11:20 pm

    lemonadeandlemoncake – I’ve done it once and it was nice, but I’ve been a single parent during the week, so there’s just not been much opportunity because there is no partner to leave the kiddo with. Hopefully in the future if we can find him a job where he comes home every night.

  15. May 3, 2010 6:10 pm

    ah. understandable.


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