Brillant Comme l’Amour Au Néon
According to my journal from 1994, I started wearing Angel Perfume on this exact date fifteen years ago. It’s odd because I have often framed myself as an early adopter, when in reality the product had been stinking up shelves for two years.
Some thoughts I posted about Angel circa 2004:
This morning when I went to marinade myself in Angel I noticed the little star was almost empty! I panicked. It was not enough that I had already washed my hair, cream rinsed, scrubbed. moisturized and hairsprayed myself into an Angel stupor. It wasn’t enough that I had used enough Angel booster (faux Angel scored at Claire’s Boutique) to become radioactive. I even threw in a little Amber jewels to intensify the vanilla and carmel notes of the Angel.
I need my four squirts to get though the day.
Oh yeah. I’m that girl. I’m the one who chokes everyone she comes into contact with. If I could roll around in vats of Angel believe me I would. Everything in my house smells like Angel. I am not above sacrificing a little bit on a card and then putting the card in the dryer.
Angel is a polarizing scent. There’s nothing delicate about it. It’s known to give migraines and skin rashes and the occasional allergy attack.
It’s sickeningly sweet to the point of being gag inducing. It’s vanilla and chocolate and carmel and amber and hippie stink and something note I can never remember. Starts with a B. It’s like the kind of chem experiment that blows up the lab, in a bottle.
For every person who says, “Omg, you smell soooo good.” There are three people who wince and then pass out.
And more thoughts:
The bottle I have now was purchased for my birthday by Brett, two hundred years ago (so go beat up that guy!) You can beat up Marsha for giving me the high octane body cream and my friend Jenna for the hair spray/hand lotion/purse sized samples.
I like to think that Thierry Mulger himself sits down every three months and sends me a reminder card, letting me know it’s probably time to refill the bottle. And like schedule II controlled substances, you can’t be trying to get that shit refilled early.
I didn’t wear it for a period of time in college, not because I cared about offended hippies, but because one semester I brought it back with me and OMG…
So the bottle is a gorgeous little star. It’s a conversation piece for a girl who’s never needed one. A friend picked up the bottle, “Ooh, what’s this?” and SPRAYED A MUSHROOM CLOUD in the air and took one sniff. Frantically, I lept in the air trying to get the cloud to come into contact with my skin. I wanted to run that chick over with my car.
One day fortuned smiled on me. Claire’s was having some kind of 10/5.00 sale and there all this “Angel booster” in banged up boxes calling itself Starlicious or some stupid shit. I bought every one they had and demanded to know if there were any in the back.
and still more thoughts:
If that wasn’t enough, I was strolling around ebay and won a huge Angel lot. Three huge sealed perfumes, two tester jars of the body cream, shampoo, conditioner and six purse sprays for something crazy like fifty bucks. Okay, one tiny bottle is 65.00.
I can’t bring myself to open the bottles! I just keep refilling the star while fingering my stash.
On my way to the refilling station I paused at the Angel display, furtively I took a tester and doused myself in it. While waiting for the clerk to refill the star I demanded all manner of samples and testers. Like a junkie in a shooting gallery, which the Angel counter most definitely resembles.
Happy anniversary to Angel and me.
ETA: As an asthma/allergy sufferer – who is immune to Angel’s irritants – I should note I have scaled the storm cloud way back! All the way to Hackensack!