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Field Guide To Cinematic Black Presidents

November 2, 2009

The upcoming movie 2012 features my favorite new trope: Black Dude Presidents! No longer the butt of “ohhahahawouldntitbefunnyifthepresidentwasblack” joke, these cinematic dopplegangers are keeping it real.

Danny Glover looking not unlike Henry Sherman two seconds before falling into open archeological pit while babbling at Etheline. At 6’2.5, Glover is a prototypical president. In fact, lest I sound disloyal to my Morgan, is a better looking (in terms of not being too smoove) president.

Morgan Freeman looking butthurt from the movie Deep Impact. Okay, one thing I do not like about this trope is the fact the Black prez has to walk into some jacked up shit. This was not an accurate portrayal of Mr. Freeman’s president. I mean, who campaigns on a “I can keep the meteors from fucking up your hairdo, but in absence of that, I can at least get you a lotto ticket.” platform? He spent most of the movie wearing a “Now, now, now, don’t look in that box, David.” expression.

Dennis Haysbert as President David Palmer from 24. Combining the best elements of both Glover and Morgan; Glover’s gravitas and Freeman’s lush voice, here was a president who could not only convince us that we needed All State car insurance, but also effective govern the land, until you know, all that drama overtook thangs.

I predict these dudes will be getting their shot at playing the president:

Will Smith, preferably in I Am Legend drag. We’re gonna need a president who can give zombies the business and recite Shrek word for word.

Don Cheadle. While recent presidents have all cleared six feet, Cheadle, a very excellently proportioned 5’9.5, with gorgeous skin, smile and voice could effectively slip into the presidency. Especially if he rocks that hat.

Forest Whitaker laying the smack down as Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland. Ideally, he’d lose the hat and the murderous regime. With Whitaker we get a bonus! Kisha, his wife would be a totally fantastic first lady.

The incomparable Mr. Poitier! He should president if only to be able to slap some racist fuck and say, “They call me Mr. PREZ!!!” ::bitch slap::

Avery Brooks. Actually, why hasn’t he been movie president before. He kept Spencer in check and was the first black commander on Star Trek. I haven’t seen that spin off. Lord, I hope his ship wasn’t a hooptie.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. redlami permalink*
    November 2, 2009 11:46 am

    Sorry to say, Benjamin Sisko’s Federation assignment was even worse than commanding a hooptie ship. He ran a space station, which was kind of a gussied up intergalactic Jiffy Mart where all the dealers and hookers and con men hung out.

  2. November 2, 2009 12:04 pm

    OH SNAP. So essentially he was an intergalactic Mr. Hooper!

  3. redlami permalink*
    November 4, 2009 11:01 am

    How appropriate for Sesame Street’s 40th birthday 🙂 I was very sad when Mr. Hooper died, but I liked the way they handled it.

  4. November 14, 2009 7:54 pm

    Hey! DS9 is my favorite Trek. I mean, there were some embarrassing episodes, but at its best it was brilliant. And, Avery Brooks is really kind of yummy.

  5. November 15, 2009 4:14 pm

    I have added it to my never ending netflix cue. I didn’t realize TV’s “Clayton” (Rene Auberjonois)also appeared on this show!

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