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Do You Have a “Uniform?”

October 15, 2009

Every season I create a “uniform” for myself based on what is on clearance at whatever cheesy department store I’m currently obsessed with. (This year it seems to be JcP!) I take the bargain blowout bonanza booty and slowly begin to upgrade the pieces until I’ve recreated the “uniform” at every price point.

Although I like to pretend I’m open to change, I’m not. There are specific shapes I’ve always been drawn to and most of my fashion nightmare eras have involved straying from the aesthetic. The color palette rarely evolves beyond swapping varying shades of gray. Currently, I like grays that work well with lavender, chocolate brown, navy blue and burgundy.

As a recovering goth, I shy away from black clothing whenever possible unless it’s a handbag, shiny boot, a pair of stretchie pants or tights. I do not actually own a single black bottom (skirt or pants), except the one I was born with! If I want the look of black pants/skirt I just go with navy blue, which I can then sneak a bunch of other colors like lavender, chocolate or burgundy into the mix.

Right now the stretchie pant owns me. I’m not talking about anything high powered or even remotely stylish. But good old ugly leggings! my favorites come from KMART’s summer clearance rack and I wear them practically everyday. In the summer I paired them with a slouchy tee, statement necklace, flip flops and went on about my business wearing some variation of this theme every single day.

Now that it’s getting cold, I wear tights under the stretchie pants, rugged knee boots, long, thin cashmere (okay so it’s mostly tricot masquerading as cashmere 50% of the time) sweatery things, statement necklace and my favorite sweater coats from Banana Republic circa ’06, which I scored on clearance for 4.97 and naturally got in every one of my colors they had.

I’m also drawn to cropped versions of skinny jeans, not so much from a fashion standpoint, but because I’ve destroyed the bottoms of many cherished jeans with Vermont winters. If the pants are barely below the knee I can show off my impressive hooker boot collection and avoid the hassle of pants that never play well with a 28″ inseam.

It’s weird I thought having a “uniform” would make me hate shopping, but instead it’s made me like it so much more. I don’t have to apologize for buying yet another gray cardigan/sweater/t-shirt or waste my time wondering what kind of new hot holy bag of hell will be appearing in the stores and instead I can focus my efforts on finding cool accessories and buying shitloads of pens and black bound sketchbooks.

Also it’s become a place of acceptance for my luther like weight fluctuations. If everything’s stretchie and sweatery, ballooning up isn’t going to like harsh my mellow. And that’s kind of relief, I suppose. It’s not like I’m badass about being chubby, but I’m not defeated about it much either. Though I’ve been both and they both bring too much drama into my life.

I’m supposed to be a cute chubbylicious 12/14 otherwise what the hell would I have these 36Gs and this hourglass figure for? Though I have gone through all manner of bloviations, eventually I settle right back to the body i had in high school. I mean I’m in way better shape now because I run or steep incline/brisk walk six times a week, but essentially, I look about the same only more fit. And at 5’1, okay, actually closer to 5’0.75 if my hair is flat, that’s just the way things go.

I told myself if I wrote this note I could go buy some pens and maybe this grey sweater dress I spied at Macy’s.

So… do you have a “uniform”?

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. October 16, 2009 2:07 am

    I used to have one (boring pants and a button-up shirt in multiple colors, no accessories), but then I realized I wasn’t in the military. So I’ve been trying to spruce it up a bit, which means I’m branching out to *gasp* cardigans and skirts and headbands (OH MY!). Baby steps, baby steps…

    Somewhat unrelated: Kmart still exists?

  2. redlami permalink*
    October 16, 2009 8:00 am

    My uniform used to consist of a loose-fitting cotton camp shirt tucked into dad jeans hiked up to my nipples with a cell phone clipped to my belt.

    I’ve gotten some good fashion advice lately and have made a few improvements.

  3. October 16, 2009 10:16 am

    Kmart does still exist. It’s like a crazy thrift store (at times) expect it’s possible to find a few items of clothing that do not smell like cat piss.

  4. October 16, 2009 10:17 am

    Yes, and you look fantastic everyday!

  5. October 16, 2009 8:27 pm

    Gosh, I haven’t seen one in years! They must be hiding off of popular bus routes.

  6. October 20, 2009 12:30 pm

    I just stay away from whatever makes a pale person look even more washed out, plus as I’m getting older I have a bit of rosecea, so I have to make sure I don’t wear anything that brings that out.

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