Weekly Streisandicure: The Mirror Has Two Faces
When I sat down to do my Streisandicure, I pulled out my burgundy/wine/raisin collection instead of going for something from my nearly black vampies collection. Generally, I like the idea of burgundy/blood reds more than their actuality, since they don’t translate with the same impact on my darker skin. To that end I have been searching for blood red/burgundies that were dark, dramatic, yet decidedly NOT blacken cremes.
First up was China Glaze’s That’s Ravishing Dahling which like the proverbial horse shoe or hand grenade, just didn’t get me where I wished to go. I didn’t have the patience to brush on hopeless coat after coat in order to achieve the desired pigmentation.
Then there was Vampire State Building by OPI and that was a poor dupe of my ultimate choice – MRS. O’LEARY’S BBQ.
So it was with this week’s movie choice. Two false starts with the likes of Meet the Fockers and A Star is Born and I finally settled with The Mirror Has Two Faces.
My secret to a semi-pro manicure is this: paint one hand at a time. Many of the challenges of home manicures can be attributed to one source: not allocating enough time for the process. So whether you cheat by skimming on the prep work or brushing on thick, crappy coats, you waste time and effort by not taking the time to do it properly from the get go. That means removing all the obstacles that could possibly conspire to fuck up your Steisandicure.
Go to the bathroom first. Let each coat dry completely before applying the next and start with you NON DOMINANT HAND.
I contemplated the chemistry between Babs and Lauren Bacall – who play daughter and mom respectively – while the first coat of Mrs. O’Leary’s BBQ slowly dried to a streaky molasses mess. Babs and Lauren fought for turns glazing the ham while coat three fought for timeshares on my cuticles.
As Babs and the Dude – playing a nebbish, but charming Math Professor – fell in hearts, I began to fall in love with the glossy deep burgundy, but decidedly NOT black creme moving mountains on my left hand.
There were several false starts, both with my Streisandicure and with the romance between the two intellectually competent, yet romantically inept leads in the film. But like with so many things success in cinematic love and Streisandicures it all comes down to reevaluating one’s expectations, working with what you have and, of course, a little dash of ORLY’s Naughty.